Ride the divide: Global adventurers, Andy and Alissa take on Australia’s mighty mountain range

Nah, sorry mate. Your bike failed quarantine – we found some grass on it.” With that one sentence, the shipping depot officer crushes our dreams. Failing quarantine in Australia is like failing an MoT at a remote garage thousands of miles away from home.

It means the inspection team found some dirt, you’re going to have to pay through the nose for them to re-clean and re-inspect and who knows when they’ll do it.

Head spinning with incredulity, I cast my mind back to when I last saw our bike – it was Christmas Eve in Bali, where we spent hours at a car wash with three people cleaning it four times over with acid-dripping toothbrushes.

“No chance. Our Yamaha is immaculate…” I say.

“Oh! Yours is the Yammy? Yeah, no worries, she’s a beaut.”