Top 5 funny (yet ruthless) festive Christmas tops

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To ease some weight off your Christmas shopping we’ve picked the funniest (and most ruthless) festive t-shirts and long sleeve tops to have you winning at Crimbo gifts for any member of your family or friends this year.

And they won’t break the bank either. Job’s a good’un. 

When Christmas decorating starts in September…

We have to admit it is a bit odd when we see things like mince pies on sale in September and when Christmas trees start going up in the local shops before Halloween – What are people thinking?! Vent your frustration with this T-shirt.  

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Awkward Christmas truth?

Everyone’s got a family member they can’t stand seeing over the Christmas period, right? Then there’s the dreaded visit to their house for a cheery festive drink, because your wife/husband/mum/dad has forced you to do so. Deal with it, you have to endure it. Saying that, why not throw a bit of banter in the mix with this t-shirt? 

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Perfect for the bearded-one in your life


Celebrate the winter-beard – only getting longer – on your loved-one’s face with a beard ruler. Measuring from manly to godly this jumper is sure to make them chuckle. Extra brownie points if they manage to outgrow the chart, perhaps also a challenge you could task them with? 

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Don’t let Santa see this one

Next in line is for the loved-one in your life who spends all their time talking about bikes, buys bikes from MCN Bikes for Sale, buys all t bike gear and watches Guy Martin on the tele all day (they sound like an awesome person). However they are so anti-Christmas they need something to scare away the Carol singers. Let them revel in their anti-Christmas-fandom with this jumper. 

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Dear Santa…

For the folk who have been naughty this year and have some things to clear up, you better get in touch with Santa soon to explain yourselves. Otherwise you’ll be receiving a lump of coal under the tree this Christmas. In the mean time, this t-shirt is perfect for handing across to someone who has been ill disciplined, and has a wicked sense of humour.

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Maria Vallahis and Calum Brown

By Maria Vallahis and Calum Brown