Trip to Isle of Skye

Well it was Friday 4th of May and were were all set to have our second attempt to create Scotlands lovely lands into the best race track ever. There were 5 of us. ADI, CHRIS ,MARK, SAM and ME. The bikes were in same order. CBR1000rr, TLR1000, SP1, BMW1100Boxer, ZX10. We all met up on the A1 motorway at a fuel station. All filled up and off. As you can guess we were all sticking to 70mph all the way to Scotch corner. Traffic a little busy but it was ok. Across the A66 to the M6 then of into the west of Scotland at Carlisle.

We all decided that we should do the coast run A77 all the way up to Glasgow these roads were amazing. There was bend after bend knee down if you dare action. We were all loving the sunshine and dry roads. The forecast was good for friday and saturday and not so good for sunday and monday s o we were making the most of it. My brother Mark has told us about the Electric Brae on the A719. Its where the cars roll up hill yes up hill.

Don’t ask me how but i have seen it and it true go and have a look for your self. We got lost and decided to have a map check so looking where we went wrong we found where we should be. Sam put the map away and said well if we go up this rd ther eis a left turn we can turn around there. Mark said how do you know ther eis a left turn we have not even been up there yet. Sam replied i have just been looking at the mao you dummy. Dhoo, God his is daft sometimes. Any way back to the electric Brea. We could not belive it cars rolling up hill so we decided to have a piss on the road and see which way it went and sure enough it went up hill. As i said you go and look for yourself. It is famous place for screwing your mind no wonder the jock are odd.

We ended up in Alexandria our first stop. If you want details i will send you them cos this is a nice and cheap place with very nice folk who run it and good bike parking. We went out that night for a meal Sam was pretending he new what he was ordering and this little chinese women was getting a bit confused with him so we helped out and went to a 2 course meal in stead of Sam’s 10 course. It was very nice we had some long chats about how i alway had to help my Brother out when he was younger and a piss head and how Adi played in the Army.

We then had a stroll back to the digs and chilled out. It was not long and we were sound asleep, that is after a few smelly farts and laughing our heads off. Day 2 Off to an early start with a belly full of a full english and 10 rounds of toast. Today is the rds we all come to Scotland for one being the A82. If you could design a road for bikers this would be it. There are about 3 places what have straights and the rest are bends. Now the bends are that good you thing you are coming back on yourself. Every bend has a sign on it warning you of more bends. THe grin factor is a little sexual. Whilst enjoying the bends you are runing along the side of lochs and in between mountains. Shame you have not got time to look as you are to busy setting up for the next bend.

We did a little change of rds and went around the Loch Levern on the B863 it added another 20 miles on but hay we were in it for the miles. Well we were all glad we did as the rds were ace. not to fast but up and down and lots of bends. We had to keep our eye out though as there were a vintage trials bikes running up and down the hills and crossing in front of us. As we were nearing the end of this rd I looked to my left and there was a a plane that looked like a spitfire along the side of us. flying over the loch. did not have much time to look though. We went on to the Kyle of lochalsh then across the Isle of Skye bridge.

This used to be a toll but is now free. Te isles of sky has some nice roads but in places can catch you out with the odd sheep stood in your line. I guess it would be good if you were from wales and had wellies. On we went and just before we got to our destination we had a little rain but not enough to slow you down. We stopped in a small fishing village Portre.

You would think we were super stars or had somthing wrote on our heads as the locals would not leave us alone. They were so friendly even the little one who spoke in his own language. We went out took some pics and had a meal. We ended up in a pub looking over the other islands not sure what they were called but looked a little not lived on. That night we sat and waited and waited for some scotch bloke to do a sing song. he was good. When he found out we were from yorkshire he sang us On Hilkley moor ba Tat song in a slightly odd scotish yorkshire tone. I then asked if i could sing to the pub if you look on my space you will see it.(if you cant it will be on soon) I was gettign knacked so me and Chris headed back and left Mark Sam and Adi to enjoy the flavours of the Bar. I

t was pissing it down we ran all the way back but still got wet. 3 hrs later the others turned up slightly pissed. Day 3 Sam had to leave as he had a meeting with somone to sign a contract so he went home early, shame as he would have loved the rest of the hols. We were up early for breki but it was raining heavy so we were down in the dumps a bit. But whilst eating a full scotish although not that full it started to clear up. There was a chinese family in there too who were slightly strang as they were eating there full scotish with a spoon “all of them” lol. When the owner came to clear their table he was looking at the knifes and forks curiously. He turn to my Bro and said well i cant belive it they have done it again they have eaten my breki without using the knifes and forks. So my bro explained that thye used the spoons. The owner was happy now he knew how they did it.

My bro Mark said it took the women ages to get the egg in her mouth in one go. I missed most of this as i needed a good old Yorkshire dump and I knew if one of the others went in before me it would be a little smelly as they had a belly full of beer the night before. I could here the boys come back as i was doing my impression of a man lifting a lorry. My bro was not happy as he wanted to go. So my plan worked. But to top it off chris got in there before him. Then when chris came out with the green mist Mark had to go in.

Well were all started to get ready and packed up for our trip to CuperAngus we were feeling good as the sun was out but some little clouds hanging around. I was ready and went to put my bag on the bike but the bloody heavens opend. We decided the water proofs were to come out. We were all ready and said our good bye’s to the owner and off we went. I was happy to rid ein the wet with my water proofs on and i set off with a fast pace across the isles of sky. about 4 miles out of portree my bag came of and hit me in the back. That pissed me off a bit as it could have gon in the back wheel. Out come more bundgey ropes and it was like part of the bike. We were going very well to say it was bouncing it down.

Then Chris on the TLR came along side pointing at his engine it sounded rough. The water had got to the spark plug on the front of the engine. The TLR dont like rain. We stopped still on sky at the next petrol station and got some WD40. When we got there there was another biker with a sv1000 with the same problem. (they should have gone halfs on the WD40 lol.

Chris was pissed of and i dont blame him all we wanted to do was get some miles on them and it was running like a tractor. He waited a bit and started it up. I was in the station paying for my petrol and a TLR with micon cans on one pot sounds very loud and the flames coming out the back aint the best thing in a petrol station and the fumes were coming into the shop. A little fellow went running out he was only just big enough to reach the door handle bless him but he got Chris to move on. I bet it smelt all day in there. So off we went and chris had his head on he was flying, the man was not letting the rain piss him off so when i had my chance a got passed Adi and Mark and went after chris. It was obvious that both pots were running as he was moving. We were heading on the A87 and then the A887 then onto the A82 along the side of Loch Ness, shit that is that big it looks like the sea. Well the rain did notlet up and it was coming down hard.

Me and chris were in front with Adi and Mark following. We came to a bend with a bike smashed up as he sliped on some oil on the rd. O shit my turn ! my bike arse end swung out then gripped and then the fron end went then griped. But i managed to stop on. A stop was required to WIPE!. We pulled up at another petrol station and got a coffe and in came some other bikers.

We warned them of the bad bend. These lads were from Halifax doing the same as us just on a trip. We found some well needed chain lube and decide we would put it on when we got to the digs. Off we went inot the sun Not but it was still good fun. We ended up in inveness in no time at all. Down the A 9 and onto A938 you have a look you can even see the bends on a map. The A938 is not a big rd but some great bends with lots of ups and downs. We stopped at a place called Cock Bridge fro dinner we did not ask the locals why they called it that as he was chopping up our chicken for dinner. Onto the B976 it was a one track rd but very nice veiws. I started to get all fogged up there must have been a gap on my fog city so istopped and tried to sort it but my bloody pin lock fell on the floor and i could not find it. I looked up and the boys were waiting for me so i said F**K it i will do with out what a mistake as we were now on the A93 with dry roads and some faily big numbers on the clocks. I sounded like an old steam kettle wistling away. Shit it was loud. The boys were well in front so i had to push on a bit,

I passed a few other bikers and my boys were in my sights. They were flying and my noise was realy getting to me, i was turning my head so the tune alterd but it was not good looking at the edge as that was the only deep tune i coould get. I rode for a while with my hand on my visor but not good in a bend. Any how i got to them and enjoyed the kettle sould for some more miles. The rd s were dry and the sun was good tyres warm, I had run out of names to call petrol stations. from water hole, pit stop, piss stop, not again stop, another stop and many more. We pulled up loads of times to tske some good pics but they are on my bros camera so it will be a while until i get them. O did i mention the sheep i better not. The boys asked me not to tell you about their new found loves.

I can understand though been away from the mrs for 3 days now. I felt strong enough to hold on though and i had no wellies. Not the same in Alpine Stars. So on we went by this time we were climbing into the sky we went up hill for hours and hours it was very good but getting windy. It had forecast some very bad wind ans gale force at times. O lord was it bad it got that bad we were down to 40mph the wind would grab you then let go pulling you from one side to antoher. The rds were not that big anyway so it was very hard and dangerous. In some parts we were going straight but leaning realy hard to dstop us going of the rd. As we got to the top of the mountains near the ski lifts the wind was getting so strong it was hurting our heads hold our heads up. We pressed on though. We came to a point where it looked like a car park made of stone and gravel i guess its where all the ski people parked their cars and busses this was on our left and there were mountains either side of us. Then infront i saw some dust blowing off the car park but unknown to us it was not only dust it was stones grit and sand.

Chris on the TLR went through it first and 1 second later me. It hit me so hard it cut my chin, all the stone went into my helmet it was very painfull. all over my body was killing. We had to stop straight away. the other bikes also went through the stone storm. My bro said i vanished into this cloud of stone and dust. When we pulled up i wiped my visor and it would not rub off we had all been sand blasted. My bike was shot all over we all had the same damage when we looked. We had five min’s and we just started laughing saying what the F***K happend we are all F***Ked. Not to worry we all pressed on. We had to fill up again in the next village as the fuel lights had been on for ages £13 in my tank most i have ever put in or the Jocks scammed me lol. We asked the water hole lady where our digs were and it turned out we were only 5 min’s away. T

hank F**K for that. Off we went as we were exsited in landing at our posh digs we were knockin on a bit then we saw Blue lights in front so off the gas and try to make them as shush as poss. Bit difficult with two V twins in the mob lol. There was an area all taped off with a dead body coverd up. Well if it was not dead they coverd him up well with a sheet. Never found out what this person died of but i dont think it was anything seroius. Landed at our new digs they were ace big beds and big rooms hot water and even BOG ROLL.

YE HA another good old yorkshire shit coming (firestorm) I had to do the best thing and sat there for a weee while. (good at talking scotish now) Mark and adi had one room and i had one with chris, I let him have the big bed as he had the nice Z bed in the other places. We just got out of out of our gear and chilled out. I think we also did the odd fart as well. We th We then looked at the days photos and went over the incedent. We looked at each others Helmets LOL bike helmet and give them a rub. I went into see adi and my Bro mark and said what time we feeding cos as you can see from my pics to maintain a body like mine you need to keep the fire burning and if you want the fire the shine brighter put a log on it. It was decided that we were ot meet at 8pm for some grub.

When i went into their room Adi was just sat in his terry towling Y fronts with the white trim under crackers. Come on lads you all have had a pair LOL O and the Y fronts with the Queen on them. How many men has she hels tight. 8pm came and we were off to feed, the locals must have been told the yorkshire boys were here as the resturant we full of emptyness. Not A fuc*er in so we could be as Yorkshire as we wanted. I looked on the grub list and found what was going to be half a sheep and orded it Mark and adi decide to follow me with the same meal. Chris went for the steak pie. We asked the gezzer taking the order if he would cut the sheep horns off and wipe its arse as we were real hungry.

The meal came and we took piss out of Adi and his bald patch. Not sure if you can see it in the photos but its like a last years nest. Nice food followed by sweet. Chris loves sweet stuff, he would lick a suger bowl dry. Adi was trying to order a coffe with cream on the top but the little Jock was not sure what he wanted so Adi got mardy bum on. He did end up with a nice coffe though. We then went to the pub next door and had a drink there. I put a £1 in the bandit and won £4 so i was happy. Chris thought he would try his look and put £2 in and lost it all. I then asked to a minger but a nice lady to take a pic of us all.

She had a face only her mother could love. We then went back to the room and shortly after fell sound asleep. When we got up in the morning we waxed the chains and were of. It was alittle wet but ok. I got home about 2pm and hugged the dog and kicked the wife. The following morning i called the insuance and told them my story but i never went into all this detail honest. They sent an assesor out the following day and he said I had to take it to my local shop to get a quote. Its now been done in moto gp colours , have a look. All the Best ZX10 DAZ